"She's taken me to a different world."

As recently as two weeks ago, I was living in a state of "Carry on, you hopeless romantic". I was happy. I had things to do. Games to play, shows to watch, art to produce, friends to spend time with. Everything was fine, except for my total lack and absolutely no sign of a significant other.
In that sense, I was a bit of a wreck on the inside. Whenever a friend would tell me that someday women would be coming to me and beg for marriage, I would angrily deny it. They would say I have charm, that I'm nice, smart, good-looking, accuse me of ignoring girls who liked me, and to be honest, all I felt was patronized. I still don't really believe them, but I'm beginning to accept the possibility that they were being sincere.
And alright. There is one girl who likes me, but she lives in Australia and is way too mainstream and blonde for my tastes. Honestly, why someone like her likes someone like me is way beyond my understanding. I mean, while I don't really believe in incompatibility, it just screams "I don't really know you and I see you how I want to see you and what I see is something I like". Normally I'm not annoyed by things people do, but she needs to grow up a bit.

Anyways, this Dream-Girl has seriously changed things. Without trying, she's taken me to a different world. In this world, she matters more than anything else. Her occupation in my mind has made me think so hard about everything I do; it's kept me from eating, given me strange dreams, and prevented me from... doing things that make me hate myself. Besides the sudden lack of nutrient intake, I feel a lot more motivated to take care of myself and transform into the sort of person that I can stand to be. I do my laundry, I brush my teeth, I shower, I've written in this blog more frequently, because thinking of her forces me to look at myself and ask, "Are you the sort of person who deserves to have their dreams come true?" (I know I'm using that word a lot, but seriously. She's as intelligent as she is beautiful, and as kind as she is both of those put together. Even establishing communication with her seemed pretty radical.)

Alright. Five and a half hours went by. And I talked to her. Over facebook chat, but still.
It turns out that there is indeed a crisis. One dire enough for her to decide that now is not the time for romance. Contextual hot chocolate is postponed, if it ever does happen.

It's strange. I completely believed her when she said it. Only now is it starting to cross my mind that maybe she's just letting me down easy.
But no, it couldn't be. I would've been able to tell. I think.
I mean, I know that I've been way beyond weird with her, but she's weird, right? I don't know. What does weird even mean anymore? And why can't I stop being it?

Anyways, above the noise of my mind arguing with itself over whether this was a gain or a loss, there's a much more resolved part telling me that no matter what happens, I'll be fine, and what's supposed to happen WILL happen, even if God has to descend from his throne and visit Earth to make it so. It reassures me that I've done everything I can, and everything I've done has been the right thing.

But... Now what? Am I just supposed to wait? She promised me that she would live through it, and I told her I would wait.
I also told her that no matter what happened, I would be able to carry on. That is the complete truth. But is being so relentlessly honest really such a good idea?