Okay, seriously. Something I really want to know.
Why do people bother with a temporary relationship?
What was I supposed to do?
Make it a self-fulfilling prophecy or something? That would have been stupid.
Make the most of it? That would have been selfish. Even though I sort of tried to do that. But only sort of. It's what I resolved to do, even though I never had the chance. People told me it was normal. What the heck is wrong with said people? They definitely don't know what they're talking about.
So what really happened? I rode it out.
I'm not stupid, so I'm not going to pretend that I couldn't have made it last longer. Anyone who ends up reading this, take it from me: As soon as you stop being amazing, you are giving them time to think about why they don't want to be with you. Whether or not this REALLY had anything to do with what happened with me, it's true.
That's what making the most of it means, right? Dragging it out for as long as possible? Man, did I fall short of that.
But right now, I have a devil of a toothache. I can't be expected to text someone for the better part of the day when I have to actually worry about making myself comfortable enough to not be in agony.
Let's be real, though.
I'll fess up to it. Despite my recent shortcomings probably having to do with it ending now of all times, I wasn't all that into it either. I just wanted someone, it didn't really matter who. It's really hard for me to admit to that. So selfish of me...
Should I tell myself that I should only be with a girl that I know I really love? After everything I've been through, will I even be able to recognize the feeling? I guess I could say that if I don't know for sure, it isn't it. I don't think I've felt real love before, but I'm confident that I'll recognize it like an old friend, should I ever find it.
I do need to keep an open mind, though. Do you realize how many lonely and beautiful women there are, all over the world? At least one of them probably thinks that I'm the best (and isn't also insane in some way)!
